Dare to Live
by ThereLiesMySanity
Summary: James beamed up at the police droid-this was going to be fun. (In other words, the story of James t Kirk's trip through Tarsus IV and across the universe.)
1. prologue

**Notes:** Right, so, I have literally no idea what I'm doing. This is my first attempt at writing fanfic, my first time posting it, and the first story I've written for this movie. Feedback would be fantastic, and if I'm doing anything wrong, please feel free to point it out. Enjoy the story!

The smooth rumble of the engine sounded like a purr of content, and the wind tasted like the freedom he desired. The roar in his ears drowned out thoughts of Sam and Frank. The sound of police sirens pushed more adrenaline into his veins and instead of stopping as most would when faced with thoughts of tickets and fines, he floored the gas pedal. Faster, faster, faster, until everything except his fingers gripping the wheel became a blur. Contrary to what people will attempt to tell you, James T Kirk had thought his plan through. He knew the dangers, knew the consequences, and he knew how to hotwire a car. The only part he was unsure of was his ending destination. The car would go off the edge, sure, but would he go with it?

The sound of the siren became louder as the police droid caught up, but the sight of the cliff in front of him drove all thoughts of authority out of his mind. Frank couldn't sell his father's car, he just couldn't. He didn't deserve to rest his beady eyes on the car, much less touch it. James would rather destroy the car then let it go to someone else so that Frank could pay for more beer and cigarettes. Ironically enough, that was exactly what he was doing.

There it was, looming in front of him. This was his chance, James thought, his chance to fly. His chance to leave everything behind-a stepfather who didn't want anything to do with him, a mother who couldn't look him in the eye, and memories a brother who had decided that even Jimmy wasn't enough to stay. This was his chance to get out. James didn't have much of a self-preservation instinct, but this...well, the feeling itself wasn't new, but the opportunity to go through with it was. Adrenaline flooded James's veins. He really could just let himself fall. There was no one left to miss him. That would be giving up, though, and Sam had told him that, no matter what Winona (not mother, Winona was not, nor would she ever be, Mother) said, Kirk's weren't cowards. He had drilled rules into James' head-to never back down from a challenge, to hold up a reputation, to always carry a knife in his shoe. James couldn't just push all that away. He had, true to Sam's rules, never backed down from a dare. So James dared himself to live longer than his father, to show the world, no, the universe, that the Kirk name meant more than just a man who had died twelve minutes after becoming captain to save his crew.

James hit the brakes and jumped as the tires squealed and the car went sideways off the cliff.. His chest hit the side of the cliff, his waist banged hard against the rocky wall, and his hands scrambled for a hold on the jagged ground. The police droid stopped just feet before the cliff, and James beamed up at him.

This was going to be fun.

...This wasn't fun.

`The judge had tried aimlessly to convince James that he wasn't in his right mind, that he was just a desperate young boy trying for attention, but James wasn't having it. He knew exactly what he was doing, and he told them such. No, he wasn't traumatized. No, he didn't just want attention. No, it wasn't because he missed his mother (not to say he _didn't_ miss Winona from time to time, but they didn't need to know that.) James knew exactly how far a clean change of cloths and a "please" could go. He knew how to widen his eyes to seem younger and more innocent. He knew how to plead, how to cry on demand (and make it look convincing) and how to lie. He knew how to read people-who wanted to fit him into a mold, who wanted something from him, who wanted to get rid of him, who would be convinced with bright blue eyes and a whimper. He knew who was going to throw a punch, who was going to try to keep him down, and when people had decided that he wasn't worth the effort. Sam had taught him the basics, but even though Sam was four years older then him, James's manipulation and reading skills far surpassed his own. (well, he didn't know anymore-it had been quite a while since he heard from Sam (push that thought down, make the memories go away, now was not the time or place for self-pity.))

As stated above, though, James wasn't having fun. He was bored out of his mind, which wasn't uncommon, but these past few years he didn't even have the promise of Sam to distract him. James quickly pushed that thought to the back of his mind, wrapping it in chains and shoving it into a box with the rest of the "Sam" memories., Now wasn't the time to deal with regrets.

Frank had defended himself against all accusations, and since they only had James' words to go on, he didn't face any charges. James refused to go back with him, though, and evidence forced the authorities to decide that Frank was indeed an unfit guardian for James. They were going to send him off with some uncle he had never heard of, a brother of his mother who lived in a colony on Tarsus iv. James couldn't decide if it would be worse to stay in Iowa or go off-planet; he knew this town, this city, this planet, and he knew how to deal with his stepfather. His Aunt and uncle lived on an entirely different planet, and that would take some getting used to. But one of James' most prominent abilities was that to adapt, so he figured it would be okay. On the other hand, going off planet would mean getting away from Frank, which was definitely a plus. Besides, it didn't seem like James had much of a choice. They were going to send him off weather he liked it or not.

James found himself sitting in his and Sam's room (no, just his room now-push that thought back down, lock it up, throw away the key) with his backpack on his shoulder. The bag hadn't been used for school for a while, as James was ten now, and he had already finished high school and was working on several degrees in an online college.

The colony his aunt and uncle lived in frowned on electronic devices of any kind, but all the wires, gears, Padds, old phones, communicators, and other "building materials" that James had collected over the years (which was quite a lot) remained stashed in his bag. James didn't have much-unlike his brother, he didn't take comfort in physical objects, and the only things he really owned were useful. So all his clothes, toiletries, and other belongings fit nicely into his backpack. Even his blanket (Sam and him only had one thin blanket between them, they took turns when it was warm and shared it in the winter-no, lock and key, lock and key, push it down to the back of his mind) fit into the bag. He finished well before the sun was up, ready for the long trek to the station. Frank wouldn't take him, he knew, so that left it up to him to get there on time. Most people would have found the bag heavy, far too heavy to walk five miles in a light drizzle, but James had been taking care of himself since he was old enough to walk. It wasn't the first time he had pulled stuff like this. The bag felt completely natural on his bruised shoulders, packed with things as it was, since James often packed it up and pretended he was going somewhere far away, when really he was just going out to explore and find a place to set up camp for a while.

Set up camp for a while-that was exactly what this. Who said he had to stay? No one, that's who. The only people who had the authority to tell James what to do were gone. Once he could pass for eighteen, James could leave Tarsus iv and, heck, Earth too in the dust. James could explore the entire universe with nothing to tie him down and just enough credits for necessities.

Well, now was his chance, he supposed. He was really leaving, entering space for the first time since he was three and had stowed away with his mother when she left earth for the first time since he was born. This was going to be interesting.


	2. Chapter 1: Linda Kirk's POV

This was going to be interesting.

Well, to be honest I had known that since Winona's frantic call begging me to take in her son. She hadn't even bothered with hellos, even though I hadn't heard from her in nearly ten years. My brother in law's funeral was the last time I remember actually talking to her face to face, but even so, I hadn't hesitated in agreeing. One look at James Tiberius Kirk's records had shown him to be a brilliant child, albeit with a bit of a...criminal record. Literally, the kid had been in jail six times, even though he was only ten.

Yes, I had known this was going to be at best strange, at worst a disaster, but I guess it didn't really set in until I was staring at the boy in person. He had just gotten out of the shuttle, standing a bit apart from the crowd with nothing but a backpack and a smirk. Then he turned towards me, and I had to struggle not to gasp-his eyes were bluer than the sky on earth, bluer than George's eyes used to be, and that's saying something.

"Linda? Linda Kirk?" he called as he made his way through the crowd. I nodded, summoning a weak smile.

"And you must be James?" He bit his lip and stopped in front of me, looking down, before turning his defiant gaze back towards mine and saying, "Could you just call me...call me JT."

That was an odd request. "Well, sure, but...is there a reason?"

"Do I need one?" he sneered, then bit his lip again. "I uh, sorry. It's just, when people hear 'James Kirk' they think of George Kirk's son. I don't want people to have opinions of me before they even meet me."

"That's fair." this time, my smile was genuine.

We stood awkwardly for a moment, before I took the initiative and led him to the car. He didn't let go of his backpack, even when I offered to put it in the trunk, but otherwise, he looked relaxed. The drive back was filled with my attempts at starting a conversation and Jam- _JT's_ quick but effective shutdowns. He seemed perfectly content to sit and watch me drive in silence. After a couple more tries, I let him have his way.

It was only moments after cutting the engine when three heads-one redhead, two brunettes-came barreling out of the house. Well, two barreled, one, my oldest, just walked with a purpose.

JT looked vaguely surprised, but it was hidden quickly-too quickly, really, which I would have to think about later. I smiled at him again and turned to introduce my children. "JT, this is Anna-"the littlest member of our family barreled into my side, red bangs flopping into her face when she turned on the spot to examine the stranger. I chuckled. "Timmy, the second oldest, only three years younger than you, and that's Blaze. He's your age." Timmy followed his sister's example and burrowed into my side. Blaze strutted cooly down the steps and over to stand beside me, failing to hide his own excitement in the way he was practically vibrating.

" 'Lo." JT said simply, holding out a hand for Blaze to shake. Blaze obliged a little to enthusiastically, and JT smirked ever so slightly. Immediately, Blaze went hostile, fists clenching. JT looked as calm and collected as ever, which only served to infuriate Baze further. Fearing an all out battle for position of Alpha-of-the-house, I stepped between them and said, "Who wants some lunch? It's a bit early, but I bet you're hungry after that long trip, JT."

He beamed up at me, and I nearly got whiplash at the bright, "Thanks, Mrs. Kirk! That sounds fantastic!" so different from before. It was although he had changed in an instant, going from completely cold and standoffish to the perfect little boy. For a moment, I wondered if he was trying to play me, butter me up for something, but no, that smile was too genuine for him to be anything but honestly excited.

I smiled back, delighted he was letting down his shields. "Alright then, come on inside. Blaze can show you where to put your bags, you'll be staying in his room for now." Blaze huffed.

JT turned his blinding grin on Blaze. "That sounds great!"

Blaze and JT disappeared up the stairs, and I led Anna and Timmy to the kitchen. They were still hyped up on the idea of JT living with us and refused to stay still in their seats, so I recruited them to set the table.

By the time Blaze and JT returned, leftover chicken casserole was heated and set on the table along with creamed corn, green peas, mashed potatoes, and cornbread. Blaze looked rather shaken up, but brightened at the sight of food. JT looked sort of constipated.

"JT, you okay, honey?"

He shook his head like a dog coming in out of the rain and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, it's just we usually eat food from the replicators."

"Ah, well, I'm afraid you're going to have to get used to home cooked meals," I teased, "because the only place around here to get food from a replicator is the hospital."

He sat down between Blaze and Tommy, who turned to grin widely at him. "Lookth! My thooth just fell outh!"

"Er, that's cool." JT said, then peered closer at the gap where at timmy's front teeth used to be. "Wow, both of them at once, huh?"  
"Yeah!" Anna's voice was adoring when she gazed at her big brother. "Both of 'em! The tooth fairy gave him five whole credits!"

"That's an awful lot of money. What did you do with it?" JT actually looked interested, and I had to stop myself from smiling too hard. He was pretty darn good with kids!

"I boughth a comic book!" Timmy looked so proud of himself at that. JT grinned. Blaze huffed out something that sounded suspiciously like a word he definitely shouldn't know.

"Alright, eat up before it gets cold." I took a spoonful of mashed potatoes and passed them to my left. Blaze passed it to JT, who passed it to Timmy, who passed it to Anna-or attempted to. Somewhere in the middle it got dropped, and Anna started to cry.

Blaze groaned, exasperated. Timmy turned tearful eyes towards JT, who had been splattered in the incident, and cried out, "I'm sthorry!" I didn'th mean to!"

I sprung up, ready to swoop in with paper towels, apologies, and hugs, but JT got there first. "Hey, it's cool, no harm done. No need to cry Anna, it wasn't your fault. Not yours either, Timmy." he was wiping off the chair with his napkin, and would have gone on to clean off himself if Anna hadn't tackled him in a hug with all the strength a four year old could muster.

"I'm so sorry about that," I made my entrance with more towels. JT chuckled lightly.

"Its no trouble." JT put Anna down and helped me clean off the spilled potatoes. Anna stubbornly clung to his hand, and JT didn't even try to pull away, just let her happily examine his fingers. Looking at him, I couldn't help but think that maybe Winona had been wrong about him being a troubled child with no respect for anyone but himself.

Yes, maybe things would end up being alright.


	3. Chapter 2: Jim Kirk's POV

"This is _not_ alright," Blaze said, staring intensly at me as if that was supposed to make him seem more intimidating, "just so you know."

"I didn't expect anything less," I answered, then grinned as big and bright as I could, just to see what he would do. He blinked, took a step backwards, and then frowned at me like he was worried for my mental health. Oh, this was going to be fun.

"That's your bed. Stay on your side of the room, or I'll… " Blaze trailed off, angrily attempting to tuck a stray hair behind his ear and failing miserably, which just added to his embarrassment. I pointedly and successfully tucked my own hair back, as it was quite a bit longer than his. He scowled.

"You'll what?" I drew him back into the conversation with a too-innocent smile, the same one I had used on his mother.

He huffed and stomped over to sit on the bed next to the window. "Something painful."

Turning away to set my stuff down, I took the opportunity to fix my expression into something equal parts condescending, doubtful, and amused. "Painful."

"Shut up. This is my house, so you have to follow my rules."

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems like it's my house now, too." I sent him a smirk, watching his muscles tense and his eyes burn. _Yes. that's it. Just one more push, and…_

I was more than ready for a fight. If we went ahead and blew off some steam, Blaze might be able to make it through dinner without punching someone. Besides, the sooner we established that I was stronger, faster, and smarter than him, the sooner he would be forced to accept my new position in the household and give me the respect I needed if I wanted to stay safe in this new environment.

Blaze deflated, and I could see his lips moving even as he tilted his head down. _Five, six, seven, eight…_ he was counting. Anger management, I guessed. Damn.

Blaze exhaled and looked back up at me with an expression as close to hate as I'd seen outside a mirror on a child's face. "Come on. Lunch is probably ready by now." his voice was still tight, fists clenched, eyes murderous, but he wasn't ready to fight it out yet. I revised my opinion of the boy with grudging respect. He had more self control than I'd given him credit for, although, to be honest, that wasn't saying much.

I nodded and started down the steps. Blaze began to follow, but before he could get very far, a thought stuck me. If I couldn't, at least at the moment, keep him controlled with physical prowess, I could always just…

"and if you think anything you can do to me would qualify as painful, you obviously haven't seen what I have done." I turned around in the narrow stairwell. "What I have been through." I smiled softly, almost mercifully, if it weren't for the spark of brilliance I let shine through my calm exterior that was so often mistook for insanity. "Or what I can do." then I turned and continued on my way to the kitchen, counting the steps as they passed beneath my feet, listening to the conversation between the two younger children and their mother almost too soft to hear at this distance, keeping the lines of my body relaxed but taught, ready to pounce in a threat only those who were looking for it could see.

I smoothed out the hard lines of my form and covered the danger in my gaze as I entered the kitchen. Younger children were always more adept at sensing these kind of things, and I wouldn't be able to manipulate Linda as easily if her children were wary of me. Instinct, after all, went a long way in trust, and Linda would be especially attuned to her children's feelings, even if she didn't realize why or how. I needed the other members of the family to be at ease around me. Being underestimated would be my greatest power in this situation, much as it pained me to play the sheep when I could easily be the wolf.

Ronald Kirk was a very bland man. He was strong and tan with hair as short and brown as his elder son's and wore monotone clothes nearly the same color as the dusty ground of the planet. He was not particularly intelligent or even particularly handsome, fitting, I supposed, as he lived on a rather backwards farming colony with such a thick and magnetically oriented atmosphere that outside contact was limited to physical packages and messages sent from the outside with cutting-edge technology.

There was something beneath this carefully-constructed persona, though, an awareness not based on book smarts but instinct, and I could respect that. It did make manipulating him a bit more challenging, though, because as much as I tried to pull of the innocent, idiotic little boy searching for positive reinforcement, a predator can always recognize another predator.

Yes, Ronald Kirk was every bit as much a predator as his brother, and as his brother's son. That sort of thing can not be hidden under the thickest shields, not to those who knew to look for it. And although it seemed like Ronald had convinced his wife, friends, neighbors, and even himself that he was not anything other than perfectly ordinary, his instincts could not forget how to recognize someone cut from the same cloth.

Dinner was quiet after Ronald had finished updating his family (of which I was not part of, not yet, possibly not ever) on the details of a fight in the fields between Ton and Stevie, two of his more eccentric co workers, which had apparently been a long time in coming.

Timmy had found this hilarious, and laughed so hard he would have spilled a large bowl of food for the second time that day had I not caught it. Anna clapped, Linda complimented my reflexes, and Blaze crossed his arms with a huff.

Blaze was going to be a problem. He didn't seem to realize I wasn't attempting to take his place, nor, in fact, did I want to be a part of his household. No, I just wanted to win them over enough to manipulate them while staying as far out of their grasp as possible. It's actually not as hard as it sounds as long as you're a genius, which I am.

As long as I kept impressing the youngest two children while not becoming a big brother figure, treated Linda as a friend, and established myself as an equal to Ronald, I would be able to drift apart from them while still keeping their protective influence. As much as I hated to admit it, I needed it for at least as long as it would take to carve out a spot for myself in the community. They couldn't very well send me back to earth, but they could make it very clear I was just a guest both at their house and in the colony, which would make it much harder to gain respect.

If people respected you, they wouldn't try to double cross you. They might try to hurt you, but it would be to your face, not when your back was turned, and I could deal with that. Technically, I could deal with double-crossing too, but that took more effort than I was willing to give while at the same time adjusting to a new life on Tarsus iv, trying to hack my way into the official archives of the colony to figure out how to properly communicate through the magnetic interference of the planet with only two and a half tablets and a bundle of mismatched parts, and finish my online degree at the Academy of Ti'wian.

Laying in bed that night, I decided that the best course of action was to separate myself from Blaze in public but make sure the adults in the colony saw me being brotherly to Anna and Timmy. That way, the kids at school would look at me as my own person, not just Blaze's weird cousin from Earth, and the adults would see me as a misunderstood, kind, independent child who deserved respect and encouragement. It wasn't going to be easy, but at the very least, it would be something entertaining to do on a tiny farming colony that seemed to pride itself on being unattractive and boring.

Yes, this would take some effort. Thankfully, I wasn't lying when I said I was a genius. There was a reason i'd graduated high school before I was out of elementary. But even with this as a time-consuming ongoing project, I knew from experience it didn't take long to get very, very board. Maybe I would search out the science labs after school let out. They wouldn't be too far from the main landing point, as they would have set up there when people first landed on this planet...or I could just look it up on the colony database. But searching was much more fun.

I let out a sigh and laid back in my new bed, tucking the wires I had been fiddling with into my backpack and pushing it onto the floor. Then I settled down to stare up at the ceiling and wonder about what tomorrow would bring.


End file.
